Known for Bad Decisions,,, BUT....!

Those bad decisions have always had good results in one way or another! My first major mistake? That was my first ex husband; Marty. If I hadn't married him and divorced him when I did I wouldn't have been living with my grandmother when she passed away at home. The next major mistake? My second ex husband,, Ken. If I hadn't screwed up big time and married him I wouldn't have the most wonderful son in the world, Steven. I would do it all over again if it meant I had him in my life. I've made other bad choices in life,, but none that I consider life shattering, more like bumps in the road.

 I just finished my first week of my self-inflicted unemployment, it was hard, but it was easy; it refreshing, it was tense. Trying to explain to some people about my decision is hard,, they think they know what is better for me, even if they don't know me. I'm more relaxed, but that is only after I found out that sometime between now and Thursday I'll get my smaller check from ING and that will hold me nicely until the larger  check gets in.
The best part of being off? Being available when my son has the opportunity to Skype with me! I don't have to worry about waking up early if he calls late, I'm available during the day at any time, that alone has helped me greatly in my mental stability.

I've gotten several emails concerning upcoming conferences, paid presentations, those will help me out greatly, I'm looking forward to being able to present at these and not worry about anyone from my own school tattling on anything I say!

The End of The Day

Well the end of the day came, I did my last official bus duty, I had 3 parent/teacher meetings, it was a pretty normal day except for being my last day as the classroom teacher. I still have 2 days to go, and when I wake up Monday morning, I won't have to be in the school cafeteria, yelling be quiet and listen to the announcements! I'll be here at home, wondering how the next few months will go, will they be good ones, bad ones, will my dad's Doctors finally figure out what is wrong and he'll be ok, will I be doing consulting, working part time, existing, still living here? Where will my son be and what will he be doing, will he be ok?

I will have all kinds of questions, I will doubt myself and my decision, I will wonder if I really screwed or if I made the best decision of my life. There are no clear, pat, for sure, answers to any of them right now, but the answers will come, whether I want them to or not. But I know I have to trust in myself and my family, and believe that I did the right thing for all of us. My health, my family's health, my sanity, they all need to come first, and it's not up to anyone to judge me for choices and decisions I've had to make. People don't know the first thing about what goes on in my mind; or the reasons behind my choices, but they do have respect the fact that are MY choices and MY decisions.

The Beginning of the End, the Start of the New!

I've been working on the wording of this, it's going to take an awful lot of people by surprise, others not so much. Some will think I've lost my mind, others just will have no opinion, and some will even support what I'm having to do.
I turned in my resignation at work on Wed. the 4th, my last day is/was Friday the 13th. Yep,, the 13th. With my family having trouble with my dad's health, they need me. I'm stressed out over my son's deployment, our relationship, and I'm not handling it well. My student loan was put on forbearance in May, but Aug. 15 the same company started garnishing my wages for over $200 a check. That left me with not enough to pay my bills, pay my taxes, have food, utilities, etc. By resigning I can devote myself to helping my parents, get my mind, body, and health, back in order, I can pay my bills, unfortunately with my retirement money, but it will get it covered and guarantee I and my parents have a place to live, and if my son chooses, have a place to come home to. I do have a plan, I'll be ok for quite awhile, but here is what I'm looking at:

I've been thinking of selling an acre off the back land, so I'll put that up for sale, I've thought of moving, that isn't really feasible but a possibility. I've wanted to write, the 3 months I'm taking to myself will be devoted to that, along with getting a package ready to present to school districts on making learning fun. I've thought for a long time I would be very good at consulting and presenting, this summer at NMSU I had so much fun doing it that if I can do it for a living on my own schedule, I would be very happy. Happier than I've been in so long.

Being a licensed teacher, I have options  that I didn't have before, I'll be ok, I have to believe that, and I do. I'll be updating regularly once I publish this, but even though I'm writing this on 9/8, it won't be published until on or after the 13th. My students and coworkers don't know yet.

9/10 Well the cat is out of the bag so I'm publishing this blog to fill folks in.